I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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