I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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