swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
