We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
