i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
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