I'd wear matching sweaters with you
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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