plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
