Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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