im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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