is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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