you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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