ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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