You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Randomize
