I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
