remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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