why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
