So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
