I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
