he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
