i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
