so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
