I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize