I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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