your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
