If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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