What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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