no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize