Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Dick very happy bro
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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