I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
