haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
