just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
