I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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