His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
As shirtless as possible
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Randomize
