My first STD was from a foam party
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
