As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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