so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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