Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
