girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
