Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
