i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
