"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
