how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
