Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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