I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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