There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
