She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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