Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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