I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
