my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
