Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So much Jack, so little girl.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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