butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Randomize
