i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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