Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
soo... how was my night?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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