2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
