All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
