I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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