just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
