I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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