There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
