im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
vagina is talking i cant
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It's official drugs can't kill me
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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