So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
There's always time for handjobs
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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