Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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